Not much going on today; the wind is howling outside, and Queenie, my little dog is having trouble with her arthritis so I've been helping her get around. I have arthritis myself, so I can relate. These changes in weather are no fun at all. I hope everyone out there is doing well and having a good time.

The year is turning toward spring with all the hope and promise that comes with it. I have not been overly involved with the garden over the years, but this winter I started reading about urban homesteading. It is intrigueing to me that a little bit of the farm can be brought to the city. Arco is far from being a city, but there are little farms springing up even in big cities like Santa Barbara and other big cities across the country. How cool is that? So now I'm looking at the little garden plot that mom has been struggling with ever since we moved here (with only sporadic help from me), and suddenly, it holds a lot of interest for me. And hope. The hope of connecting in a real way to my farming roots. Hope of doing something meaningful and wholesome with at least part of my life.
So this morning I started cleaning up the raspberries in back of the house, got about half of them done. This is the first year I've really looked at the garden. It's a real mess: last falls long grass and weeds, old flower stocks and plants that were not cut down and raked up last fall; the starts of this years weeds. The yard is also a mucky field of a place right now, with the winter refuse of the birds and dogs and leaves that didn't get raked up. Lots to do, but this year I am looking forward to the work. If I can get the garden cleaned up and planted, and if God is willing, there will be green beans to can and raspberries to sell, and cherries to make surrup out of to sell. It will be farming again--really farming, not just thinking and dreaming about it.

What makes you happy? List five things that truly make you happy. This is the assignment I was given by my counselor the last time I met with her. At the time I thought it would be an easy thing to do, but it hasn't turned out that way. All of us (or at least most of us) have things in our lives that we like: we like them to happen to us, or we like to do them, or we like it that they happen, but what is at the core of our happiness?
I haven't finished my assignment yet because, as a dissociative psychotic, I don't feel much of anything most of the time, and the things I do feel emotions about aren't necessarily real, and don't necessarily make sense, at least not to most people, and this assignment--write down five things that make you happy--made me stop and think: what makes me happy? Not the superficial "happiness" of the simple things we like to do, but the core of my happiness; that special something that makes all right with the world, and makes me look forward to each day and what that day might hold. Do I even have a core happiness? Does anyone else? What do you think?

The Difference Part II

The post, The Difference did not publish properly. I apologize for any inconvenience this might cause to anyone who might eventually read this blog. Following is The Difference again.

On Wednesday night at bible study we watched a DVD about the tomb of Christ and how it was empty when the women came to anoint Him. It occurred to me that this was the most important defference between Christianity and all other religions. Christianity is built on the love of Jesus Christ and the work He did on the cross, and on His resurrection. Jesus Christ lived the law perfectly. He is the only one ever to do so; He never sinned. Not once. When He died on the cross, He took onto Himself the sins of those who are saved: His people. He had been in the tomb for three days when the women came to anoint His body, but He was gone. He came back to life and left the tomb, appearing to others for some time after the fact before ascending into heaven.
No other human being has ever raised himself from the dead. There have been people who were raised from the dead by other people, but never before or since has anyone raised himself. Jesus Christ did, and He did it according to HIS OWN MERIT. He is alive today, living in heaven and reining with God the Father, and is God Himself as part of the trinity (Father, Son, and Holy Ghost). All other religions follow people or spirits or whatever, but in all cases there is a grave, or a place where you can find the one being followed. No grave of Christ will ever be found, because Christ did not stay dead.
When Jesus Christ rose from the dead He defeated death and it's hold over those who are saved. They must pass through death, but it is only a transition phase--they will live again. They will have all eternity to be with God and enjoy Him and His creation; to serve Him and worship Him. Those who are not saved must also pass through death, but the life that awaits them on the other side will be horrible. I would also like to point out that God, the god of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob is the only true and living God. It doesn't matter whether or not people believe in Him, He goes on existing just the same. He will always save aside His remnant--His faithful.

The Difference

As a race we have done so much: we have traveled to the moon and are making plans to go to Mars someday. There are even tourist flghts into outer space. We have cured many deseases, improved the quality of our food supply, and are learning how to take better care of our environment. We have done all these things and others besides, but in all the centuries the human race has been in existence we have never learned how to settle our differences without hurting and/or killing each other.

We still wage war on each other. Kids kill each other over such earth shattering differences as shoe brands and clothing styles and boy/girl friends. We are still, in this the twenty first century, still hung up on such things as religious differences, skin colour, place of origin, and sexual preference. Why is that? Why is it so important that I am right and you are wrong? Of course there must be rules for how we act and how we treat each other and what we do; but how is it that after all these years we have not left violence behind?

It's a beautiful day today--looks like spring, and I guess it is, the tulips and daffodils are up in the front yard, and the grass is greening up along the roads. I always get the itch to travel this time of year, there is just something about the way the air feels and the roads are open and good, and the sun is shining; it seems like the most natural thing in the world to get in the car and just drive. North maybe, into Montana or west to the coast, or even south to Nevada.
We (mom and I) used to drive up to Thompson Falls Montana at least once a year, often more often, to visit mom's sister and her husband. They are both gone now, but I still get the urge to go there, rent a place for a few days or a few weeks and just kick back and write. It's a beautiful town, Thompson Falls. Its built between the bank of a reservoir and the side of a mountain with Houses nestled along wooded streets. Train tracks follow the highway through town and the trains rumble through around the clock. There are big boulders in some of the yards, and white tail deer that can be seen at any time of the day browsing in peoples gardens or meandering along the road. The people there are strong of spirit and hard working. The town has an atmosphere of mystery about it; the kind of place where the imagination can run wild. I can't go, of course, because of my psychosis I can't safely drive a car, and mom's long haul driving days are over, but I still think about it--a lot this time of year...

Yesterday I read an article about a high school prom that was canceled because a gay girl wanted to bring her girlfriend and wear a tuxedo, and the girls had filed a lawsuit against the school because of it. There were several comments to this article, most of them expressing views ranging from support for the girls, to support for the school board, to supporting the girls, but not their lawsuit. There were also several really hateful anti Christian comments. I wrote my own view of the matter and my view of those hateful comments, but I feel further comment is warranted.
This country is going through a time of change right now, and I know that upsets some people. For some people the country was great once when it was more conservative in its mores, and any change away from the way things used to be brings us one step closer to a time when the United States as we know it does not exist any more. But change is a necessary part of life, and it is necessary for this country. Our knowledge base has grown: we are learning that people different from us are not always our enemies. We know that other people have the right to believe as they want to, and that some people really can't choose to be a certain way just because some believe they can.
We are becoming more tolerant of most groups, but there seems to be an under current of intolerance toward Christians that I'm not sure I understand entirely. I understand that as the dominant religion here for the past two hundred years that there will be some discomfort as other religions establish themselves; that is to be expected. I also understand that there are a lot of people in the country now who think they know what Christianity is all about and what the Bible is all about when they really don't. These people have very strong opinions about what they believe, and I understand that. What I don't understand is the seeming trend of thinking that Christianity is a hostile religion and full of rules and bigotry, but that all other religions are full of only love and acceptance. Why is it acceptable, even expected to follow the rules and codes of conduct, traditions etc of any other religion as well as such disciplines as the military, and the various martial arts and dance and so many other groups, but Christianity is supposed to be completely open to every one regardless of whether or not they are willing to adhere to our rules, codes of conduct, or traditions. Why is that? Go to any Buddhist monastery and do what you want and you will be asked to leave. Join a martial arts gym and expect them to change their practices and beliefs because you don't like some of the rules, and you will not be accepted.
All religions, martial arts disciplines, and most other types of groups have rules. There are ways you are expected to behave and act if you want to be part of those groups. You can't be part of those groups if you don't follow the rules. Christianity is no different. Our code of conduct is the Ten Commandments. All people benefit from that code of conduct. There are some things you can not do and be a true, practicing Christian. There are some things you can not do and be a true, practicing Muslim, or Hindu, or Buddhist, or pagan. Being tolerant means being tolerant of every body even if they do not believe the same as you. If we are going to accept other religions, we need o accept Christianity too. I look for a future where petty differences can be put aside for the greater good, for a time when we all recognize the value of human beings, and the world and all that is in the world.

Still Learning

I've never actually maintained a blog before, so if things seem a bit odd, please bare with me. On the post I published a few minutes ago there is a photograph I took of one of our sweet pea blossoms. Isn't it beautiful? I love the color, and the intricasies of how the blossom is put together. I also love it that this sweet pea if a living being some four or five years old. My mother planted this vine as a seed the first or second year she was in this house and very spring it comes up (or its progeny does, I'm not sure which). It shares the garden fence with the yellow bell clematis and during the summer the yellow bells of the clematis is accented by the pink of the seet pea. Amazing.

So Here I Am Again

I had forgotten that I even had this blog until a few minutes ago when I applied for an Adsense account. Don't know if it will be a good thing or a bad thing, at least it will be some thing.